Here we are again in the Blue Mountains. It was meant to be a weekend on the South Coast until a severe weather warning had it otherwise. Despite my disappointment of missing out on Seven Miles Beach it almost made me smile. Going with the weather and having everything changed around last minute just as you think you got it all… that’s the reality of cruising.
Now although I appreciate Sydney in general and Bondi in particular – with all its beauty and all its flaws – there’s something to say about a change of scenery. The air is fresher, everything more relaxed, no to-dos to attend to, no classes to teach (as much as I love them, a break is nice). Pure family time. The days seem longer. Patience more stretched. The rushing stops. Pretending doesn’t exist. The “g’days” are more real. Everyone smiles. The sun shines brighter despite the rain.
Is it Bondi’s cat-walk vibe, where everything seems to have to be perfect all the time? Where letting go is not an option? Where yoga slogans are mostly pure feel-good empty words? And where people are constantly chasing the latest diet, fashion and property deal hoping for a happier them ‘when’… Or is it no matter where, my brain gets tired and my heart aching for constant change. Not wanting to belong? Not able to belong? Or simply longing to be a stranger, always?
I do admit to the fringe benefit of being able to walk away, not having to confront other people’s shit over and over again. But still, that is not the reason I am a voyager. There is more to it. Like Moana’s longing for the sea, so the ocean calls me, too, to maybe one day find my own Te Ka. To maybe one day save the world in my own little way. Or for the very least to spend my life trying. That, I know I have to do. I will perish long before I die if I stay still, finding comfort in the easiness of settled life. My life is not meant to be a short-cut. It’s the ‘long-cut’ as one of my kids calls it. It’s the harder way. The more beautiful way. The path where challenges force you to grow. Always. It’s the path of my heart and I feel that whilst I’m not following it, I’m already half dead.
From the still content of yet another cosy living room – a short-cut for a little while, until my crew is ready to take the long-cut with me again. And in that, honouring, integrating and living the yogic notion of ‘santosha’, contentment. Contentment in where and how we are right now. Nothing could be more perfect – in this short-cut on my long-cut journey through life and this world. Both or either so fragile and short-lived.
Fair winds fellow sailors. My heart is always with you. I miss my family out there. You who know, know who you are.
With prema, Dini