Ca y est. It’s official. We are leaving Australia in a month. How exciting. A storm of diverse emotions running through my heart, body and mind. No gain without pain – no high without a bit of fear. Yesterday we could have blown off everything sort of easily. Today, there’s nothing that can take those words back. I am leaving. Job, house… everything up for sale, flights booked. Awesome, freeing, liberating. At the same time also a bit scary. The zillions of ‘what if’ questions run through my mind and I finally get to appreciate how many people get paralyzed by the mountain of uncertainties and never get to live their dreams… Instead of seeing life for what it is, one step at a time, they see an unsurpassable mountain. Even the biggest ventures start with just one small step…
Practically, we have committed to living in chaos for this last month. Still have to get rid of the van, our biggest asset left. Our patience ran out and we are willing to run the risk of giving it to a dealer for really cheap. Still need to put up some stuff for sale… and now more than ever it feels so important to at least take a few moments every day to sit still, in the middle of the storm, meditate, feel connection… All the fears are just a product of our wondering minds. Reality doesn’t change, or else changes constantly and we are just leaves in the wind. Often leaves with the illusion of steering the wind, but really, we are being steered.
We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.
Are we just peak jumpers, I wonder, reaching from one high to the next and trying to avoid the lows? This year especially, first the birth of our second son, followed by citizenship ceremony after ten years in this beautiful country and now giving our ‘secure’ life up to commence a new one. Jaja, the security that I usually laugh about, today has its moments of not appearing too evil after all. But then the real me kicks in, and reminds me that no mortgage, no job, no network, no belongings can give security, it’s all just an illusion our egos wrap themselves in to justify settling for average. Real security only exists in complete freedom of the mind, something within. So why go through the trouble of travelling? Why not. Life is not a dress rehearsal, you only get one chance. I’d rather have an exciting and amazing one than one spent in a suit day in, day out, 9 to 5, year by year. Fair winds and happy sailing. Buenas Noches, querido Malbec.